If you’ve found your way to our website, chances are that you’re already dealing with marital difficulties and contemplating separation or divorce. Particularly after the holidays, many couples find that their marital conflicts have reached a boiling point and they feel that there is no option other than divorce.

Did you know that lawyers are required to ask their clients if there is any chance of reconciliation before proceeding with a Divorce Application? With that in mind, we always encourage our clients to take every possible action to repair the damage to their marriage. The new year is a great time to resolve to make positive changes and improvements to your relationship with your spouse.  Whether you work through your issues as a couple or with the help of a therapist, 2013 is a great time to make your marriage a priority. Here are some tips from Tina B. Tessina, a psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex, and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media, 2008):

1. Be open and honest. Tell your spouse about your frustrations so that you can face the problem head-on. No topic should be off-limits.

2. Work as a team to solve the problem. Don’t get sucked into the blame game.

3. Stay connected. Make time to restore intimacy in your relationship.

4. Lighten up. Have a sense of humour, give your spouse the benefit of the doubt, and don’t take yourself too seriously. Tessina’s recommendation: “Store up plenty of good times in your relationship reservoir to draw on in the hard times.”

5. Create goodwill. Try to focus on what makes you feel good about your partner. Try to let go of criticisms.

Remember, when you take care of your own needs, you can be a be a better partner, parent, employee, and friend. Make yourself and your marriage a priority in 2013.

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